Today, we want to focus on feeling seen and safe. Because we feel that this is an important message for others who are struggling with ADD, ADHD, or autistic realizations in their own lives or who are struggling with any other issues. Life is hard when you're misunderstood or talked about as if you're not standing in front of the person talking about you.
I'm not sure where I got this quote, but it really is a simple concept that can make us feel better about ourselves, especially when we lack confidence in ourselves. So, who is the person (or people) who makes you feel seen and safe? That person will never mind when you approach them with problems or if you just need to be authentically yourself. No judgments, no strings attached, unconditional.
If you don't have a person like that in your life, always remember you are special to God. He has that same kind of understanding and love for us as well. No judgments, no strings attached, unconditional. And He's available during all hours of the day and night.
If you are wondering who your people are, they are the ones who make your heart feel seen and your nervous system feel calm. Yes, it's that simple.
Emotional intelligence, according to Google AI, refers to the capacity to identify, comprehend, control, and apply emotions in oneself and others in order to influence thoughts and actions. It includes components such as self-awareness, self-control, motivation, empathy, and interpersonal skills. A high level of emotional intelligence can enhance job performance, strengthen relationships, and help manage stress more effectively. This is a self-taught process that can improve over time as we continue to practice it.
I think Austin has most of the EI (or EQ) skills mentioned here. In general, he really focuses on other people's feelings. He just doesn't know how to put the skills in action for a job role. He is currently looking for online work, because that's his comfort zone, and he's being watchful for some local work as well. For now, he's going back to online selling, which will hopefully work out better this time now that he doesn't have as many doctor's visits. He still has a few more skills and special requirements to review to help people find his awesome stuff, but he's almost ready.
Below is an EI chart I found on Linkedin if you're interested in sharpening your emotional intelligence too. It's fun, and often necessary, to focus on and hone new life skills. Click on it to make it larger so you can easily see the great ways to improve your stress when practiced regularly.
Another issue that we have recently discovered about Austin is that he has a genetic disorder called 16p11.2 microdeletion syndrome, group 1. The missing genes affect 1 in 100 people who have autism, which Austin has tested positive for as well as ADD. This also causes the slow learning and speech issues, among other problems, Austin has dealt with all of his life. Instead of feeling as if this is bad news, though, we are dealing with it as finally an answer to so many unanswered questions we have had for nearly 29 years. It gives his therapist a starting place to help him deal with his issues - such as lack of interest, lack of energy, fear of disappointing others, and fear of failing - to deal with the overwhelm of life's struggles.
Of course, as with any genetic issue, there is no cure. The genes are missing. And there's nothing that will bring them into the body to connect that rung of the genetic ladder. This is just something new to focus on, on top of his eye problems, to help Austin through the remainder of his life and hopefully figure out how to improve his self-esteem and boost his confidence in himself. Because he is such a kind person and has so much to offer the world simply by being in it.
improve self-esteem
Thanks for dropping by to read this post and support Austin's healthy journey.
If you're reading this, chances are you're going through some challenging times yourself. So, these posts (five minutes or less) are meant to help everyone who needs them regardless of your circumstances and challenges. As you already know, Austin is on the road to self discovery himself. Besides his family, he has an awesome network of doctors and therapists who are helping him along the way—challenging him, listening to him, and assisting him. And he wants you to know that life is worth living, accepting the challenges, facing your fears, and never giving up on yourself.
In life, we often seek guidance, support, and companionship on our journey. Whether it's pursuing a dream, overcoming challenges, or simply navigating everyday decisions, having others by our side can be invaluable. Yet, amidst all the encouragement and shared experiences, there's a fundamental truth:
It's your road, and yours alone; others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
This quote by Rumi reminds us of the importance of personal responsibility. And no matter how much we rely on friends, family, mentors, or colleagues, the true work—the decisions, the struggles, the growth—rests on us. Real progress begins when we accept that our journey is ours to shape.
While others can walk with you, cheer you on, or offer guidance, they cannot carry your burdens or make choices on your behalf. Your dreams, fears, failures, and successes are intimately yours. So, when you understand that your destiny is in your hands, you're more likely to persevere through difficulties. By doing so, challenges become opportunities for growth rather than seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Each decision, whether big or small, becomes a step toward the life you envision.
Moreover, living in alignment with your values and passions leads to a more fulfilling existence. It encourages self-awareness—knowing what truly matters to you and taking deliberate action to pursue it.
Personal responsibility is simply about recognizing your role in your journey and actively participating in shaping your future. Definitely seek support when needed and learn from others’ experiences, but remember that you are the driver, the navigator, and the architect of your destiny.
In practical terms, this mindset can be applied to your daily lifestyle: set personal goals, reflect on your progress, and take ownership of your choices. Celebrate your victories and learn from setbacks without shifting blame. Trust yourself to make decisions aligned with your values and vision.
Ultimately, life is a journey of self-discovery and growth. While others can walk beside you and offer a help or advice, the path is yours to walk. Embrace this truth, and you'll find a renewed sense of purpose and empowerment. Remember, your road is uniquely yours, so own it with confidence. After all, Life is a Highway (song written and originally sung by Tom Cochrane).
Many days feel rushed and hectic. But what if we took just five minutes to pause and pay attention? Is it a bright, sunny day? Is it raining? Is an elderly person at the grocery store needing help reaching something on the top or lower shelf? Does the usually cheerful cashier seem a little down today? How can we spend five minutes to serve others in small ways, enjoy God's beauty, or appreciate our own good health?
Austin is currently going through a challenging time. He's in a difficult place as we try to understand the causes behind his learning disabilities on top of his vision problems at age 28. Because of this, I make a point to encourage him to take at least five minutes each day to pause—whether to recognize something he's doing well, to notice something beautiful around him, or to intentionally look for others who might be struggling and could use kindness. Austin is always kind, of course, but I want us to intentionally take a moment to notice and appreciate those opportunities to help or encourage others—those small moments we might otherwise overlook.
Despite his challenges, though, Austin never complains. And he usually brings out the good in others. As a matter of fact, he has that childlike faith that Jesus talked about in Matthew 18:3, Mark 10:15, and Luke 18:17.
I’m grateful to those who ask him how he's doing when we're out and about. He's not like most people they meet, and many enjoy chatting with him and taking the time to listen to his responses, even though his speech is slow. When he's out of earshot, some people whisper to me, asking, “Does he have autism?” I'm not offended, because these are people who care enough to take the five minutes to pay attention to him.
We would appreciate your prayers as Austin has at least two doctor visits or therapy sessions each week. We're exploring possibilities related to autism, ADHD, genetic factors, and mental health, hoping to find ways to help him feel more confident despite his learning challenges. Our personal daily therapy is simply taking five minutes to focus on kindness, gratitude, and appreciating the good in life. This keeps his spirits high and gives him the courage to continue his self-discovery journey. We hope you, too, will find value in taking your own five-minute pauses.
I mentioned in my last post that we were having a difficult time finding a psychologist to assess Austin for adult ADHD and Autism. After nearly three months of phone calls with no positive results, one finally called me back earlier this week and said she could do those assessments. There were no magic words as I thought there may be, but it took full-on persistence. And my advice for you is to be persistent as well with whatever you want to accomplish. I was ready to start looking up to 100 miles away for these assessments. That was literally my next step if this doctor hadn't called me back that very day. So, I'm very grateful for her and your prayers in this matter. Three other offices gave me one other psychologist's name. As I mentioned, he didn't have very many positive reviews (overall Google rating was fewer than three stars), so I kept searching via the list on Austin's insurance company's website until I found someone to do these assessments. In all honesty, I haven't found any reviews on her at all. But I think that's because the other doctor is getting all the referrals from these other groups who don't do the assessments.
Finally, Austin went to his first speech therapy session yesterday, and he had taken a bottle of water with him to drink in case his throat got dry and the coughing started (also mentioned in the last post). The young lady commented on him being prepared, and we mentioned the water was to try to keep the cough under control during his session. I told her he had an appointment with an ENT later this month to see if he would do allergy testing and look at his throat - and that this barking cough has been around since early 2022 when we had had a severe coughing virus. She said she also deals with throat and swallowing therapy, so she would like for the ENT to send her any results he found through his testing, if he does any. She explained that there could be some inflammation because of how severe that coughing virus had been, and every cough thereafter could be keeping the throat inflamed. And she suggested that maybe he could withhold coughing from time to time if it was more like a tickle in the throat. She topped it off with how much water a person should drink each day - which is to take half of your body weight and drink that many ounces of water. And that more water would help keep his throat moist, possibly eliminating the number of times he felt the urge to cough.
She also tested him for decision making, memory, basic addition and subtraction, reading comprehension, following written and verbal details, and asked him questions about being able to find the right words when he speaks. I didn't realize a speech therapist would be involved with these other issues. So, I'm very pleased that Austin's PCP recommended speech therapy.
All of this is also teaching Austin persistence, how it feels to be outside of his comfort zone, how to cope with those feelings, learn about himself, and how to process. This and the psychology should work together to help him manage and navigate life a little more easily.
Austin is very sweet. And he also thinks he has to be perfect or he will disappoint people. These aren't bad qualities of course, but they are paralyzing and are holding him back from his full potential. Right now, we're in the discovery and confidence-building stages. So, continued prayers are welcome.
