Another issue that we have recently discovered about Austin is that he has a genetic disorder called 16p11.2 microdeletion syndrome, group 1. The missing genes affect 1 in 100 people who have autism, which Austin has tested positive for as well as ADD. This also causes the slow learning and speech issues, among other problems, Austin has dealt with all of his life. Instead of feeling as if this is bad news, though, we are dealing with it as finally an answer to so many unanswered questions we have had for nearly 29 years. It gives his therapist a starting place to help him deal with his issues - such as lack of interest, lack of energy, fear of disappointing others, and fear of failing - to deal with the overwhelm of life's struggles.
Of course, as with any genetic issue, there is no cure. The genes are missing. And there's nothing that will bring them into the body to connect that rung of the genetic ladder. This is just something new to focus on, on top of his eye problems, to help Austin through the remainder of his life and hopefully figure out how to improve his self-esteem and boost his confidence in himself. Because he is such a kind person and has so much to offer the world simply by being in it.
improve self-esteem
Thanks for dropping by to read this post and support Austin's healthy journey.
If you're reading this, chances are you're going through some challenging times yourself. So, these posts (five minutes or less) are meant to help everyone who needs them regardless of your circumstances and challenges. As you already know, Austin is on the road to self discovery himself. Besides his family, he has an awesome network of doctors and therapists who are helping him along the way—challenging him, listening to him, and assisting him. And he wants you to know that life is worth living, accepting the challenges, facing your fears, and never giving up on yourself.
In life, we often seek guidance, support, and companionship on our journey. Whether it's pursuing a dream, overcoming challenges, or simply navigating everyday decisions, having others by our side can be invaluable. Yet, amidst all the encouragement and shared experiences, there's a fundamental truth:
It's your road, and yours alone; others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
This quote by Rumi reminds us of the importance of personal responsibility. And no matter how much we rely on friends, family, mentors, or colleagues, the true work—the decisions, the struggles, the growth—rests on us. Real progress begins when we accept that our journey is ours to shape.
While others can walk with you, cheer you on, or offer guidance, they cannot carry your burdens or make choices on your behalf. Your dreams, fears, failures, and successes are intimately yours. So, when you understand that your destiny is in your hands, you're more likely to persevere through difficulties. By doing so, challenges become opportunities for growth rather than seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Each decision, whether big or small, becomes a step toward the life you envision.
Moreover, living in alignment with your values and passions leads to a more fulfilling existence. It encourages self-awareness—knowing what truly matters to you and taking deliberate action to pursue it.
Personal responsibility is simply about recognizing your role in your journey and actively participating in shaping your future. Definitely seek support when needed and learn from others’ experiences, but remember that you are the driver, the navigator, and the architect of your destiny.
In practical terms, this mindset can be applied to your daily lifestyle: set personal goals, reflect on your progress, and take ownership of your choices. Celebrate your victories and learn from setbacks without shifting blame. Trust yourself to make decisions aligned with your values and vision.
Ultimately, life is a journey of self-discovery and growth. While others can walk beside you and offer a help or advice, the path is yours to walk. Embrace this truth, and you'll find a renewed sense of purpose and empowerment. Remember, your road is uniquely yours, so own it with confidence. After all, Life is a Highway (song written and originally sung by Tom Cochrane).
Many days feel rushed and hectic. But what if we took just five minutes to pause and pay attention? Is it a bright, sunny day? Is it raining? Is an elderly person at the grocery store needing help reaching something on the top or lower shelf? Does the usually cheerful cashier seem a little down today? How can we spend five minutes to serve others in small ways, enjoy God's beauty, or appreciate our own good health?
Austin is currently going through a challenging time. He's in a difficult place as we try to understand the causes behind his learning disabilities on top of his vision problems at age 28. Because of this, I make a point to encourage him to take at least five minutes each day to pause—whether to recognize something he's doing well, to notice something beautiful around him, or to intentionally look for others who might be struggling and could use kindness. Austin is always kind, of course, but I want us to intentionally take a moment to notice and appreciate those opportunities to help or encourage others—those small moments we might otherwise overlook.
Despite his challenges, though, Austin never complains. And he usually brings out the good in others. As a matter of fact, he has that childlike faith that Jesus talked about in Matthew 18:3, Mark 10:15, and Luke 18:17.
I’m grateful to those who ask him how he's doing when we're out and about. He's not like most people they meet, and many enjoy chatting with him and taking the time to listen to his responses, even though his speech is slow. When he's out of earshot, some people whisper to me, asking, “Does he have autism?” I'm not offended, because these are people who care enough to take the five minutes to pay attention to him.
We would appreciate your prayers as Austin has at least two doctor visits or therapy sessions each week. We're exploring possibilities related to autism, ADHD, genetic factors, and mental health, hoping to find ways to help him feel more confident despite his learning challenges. Our personal daily therapy is simply taking five minutes to focus on kindness, gratitude, and appreciating the good in life. This keeps his spirits high and gives him the courage to continue his self-discovery journey. We hope you, too, will find value in taking your own five-minute pauses.
I mentioned in my last post that we were having a difficult time finding a psychologist to assess Austin for adult ADHD and Autism. After nearly three months of phone calls with no positive results, one finally called me back earlier this week and said she could do those assessments. There were no magic words as I thought there may be, but it took full-on persistence. And my advice for you is to be persistent as well with whatever you want to accomplish. I was ready to start looking up to 100 miles away for these assessments. That was literally my next step if this doctor hadn't called me back that very day. So, I'm very grateful for her and your prayers in this matter. Three other offices gave me one other psychologist's name. As I mentioned, he didn't have very many positive reviews (overall Google rating was fewer than three stars), so I kept searching via the list on Austin's insurance company's website until I found someone to do these assessments. In all honesty, I haven't found any reviews on her at all. But I think that's because the other doctor is getting all the referrals from these other groups who don't do the assessments.
Finally, Austin went to his first speech therapy session yesterday, and he had taken a bottle of water with him to drink in case his throat got dry and the coughing started (also mentioned in the last post). The young lady commented on him being prepared, and we mentioned the water was to try to keep the cough under control during his session. I told her he had an appointment with an ENT later this month to see if he would do allergy testing and look at his throat - and that this barking cough has been around since early 2022 when we had had a severe coughing virus. She said she also deals with throat and swallowing therapy, so she would like for the ENT to send her any results he found through his testing, if he does any. She explained that there could be some inflammation because of how severe that coughing virus had been, and every cough thereafter could be keeping the throat inflamed. And she suggested that maybe he could withhold coughing from time to time if it was more like a tickle in the throat. She topped it off with how much water a person should drink each day - which is to take half of your body weight and drink that many ounces of water. And that more water would help keep his throat moist, possibly eliminating the number of times he felt the urge to cough.
She also tested him for decision making, memory, basic addition and subtraction, reading comprehension, following written and verbal details, and asked him questions about being able to find the right words when he speaks. I didn't realize a speech therapist would be involved with these other issues. So, I'm very pleased that Austin's PCP recommended speech therapy.
All of this is also teaching Austin persistence, how it feels to be outside of his comfort zone, how to cope with those feelings, learn about himself, and how to process. This and the psychology should work together to help him manage and navigate life a little more easily.
Austin is very sweet. And he also thinks he has to be perfect or he will disappoint people. These aren't bad qualities of course, but they are paralyzing and are holding him back from his full potential. Right now, we're in the discovery and confidence-building stages. So, continued prayers are welcome.
Austin finally had some genetics testing done. He did have a genetics test within a month of being born, but the current geneticist actually said that these types of tests he's doing now were not available when Austin was a child, so they likely would not have found anything wrong at that time anyway. Thus, there was no one his pediatrician could send him to earlier on. And the problems that the geneticist suspects usually don't come about as a concern until adulthood anyway. But now, even with the technology, we still have to wait up to 6 months for the results, which may still come back negative of the thousands of problems they genetically check for.
In the meantime, I asked the geneticist if we should get Austin psychological testing done for autism and ADHD. He said yes and that they would also perform an IQ test as well. But good luck finding a psychologist to do these assessments. His PCP recommended a place to us about 3 months ago, and when I called them, they said they don't do the assessments. That place gave me a name of another psychologist, but it turns out she no longer does those assessments. I called a psychiatrist, who is listed for ADHD, and she said she doesn't do the assessments - that that has to be done by a psychologist. She said she knew someone, but that psychologist was booked out for about a year. That's why I asked the geneticist, hoping he could give us a few names or groups. It turns out, he deals only with child psychologists, so he was unable to help.
So, now, I'm going solo trying to find a psychologist who does this. Even in the psychology groups that I've called so far, they don't have anyone in the group who does that. And one group that I called that's listed as psychologists in Austin's insurance in-network list are really psychiatrists, and - you guessed it - do not do the assessments. They did recommend one psychologist, but he has atrociously awful reviews, saying he isn't caring, makes fun of the patients, and test results take forever to be returned. I realize results won't be instant, but many said they were able to get IQ test results within 2 weeks when they went to a different location. However, they didn't give the name of the new location they visited. There are a few online that I may approach to find out if they do these assessments. But I don't think I'll call this particular office after reading those reviews. None of them have stellar reviews, if any, but his reviews scare me.
By the way, psychiatrists deal in medication treatments, where psychologists deal in talk therapy. But I'm having a difficult time understanding how anyone can help if no assessments are done. Prayers are needed to help us find someone who is both caring and able to perform these assessments. Maybe in the process, I'll discover the magic words to help you search if you're looking for a psychologist who will do these types of assessments and tests for you or a loved one.
On another note, Austin has had a strange cough that sounds like a seal. Some days, the cough is worse and occurs more frequently than other days. His PCP says his heart and lungs sound fine. But after months of hearing that, I requested allergy testing. She wanted to try a couple of other things first. So, I agreed. She asked if an air duct was near his bed. Yes. She said to cover up the air duct, add a humidifier to his room (which is already in use because of his eye problems), and to use Flonase every day. And that several weeks of waiting might be necessary to make sure these things would help his cough improve. Since it has not helped after nearly a month of these "prescribed actions", he asked me to call an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist. So, I did. The soonest appointment we could get is a little over a month out. And that is just for a consultation, which means more waiting if he decides to order any of the tests. But that gives the other therapies/actions a little more time to be effective if they're going to be. But I also would like to see if there is scarring or something in his throat somewhere, causing him to have that high-pitched seal-like cough anyway. That started with a coughing virus we all had over 3 years ago, and the cough was just ongoing and forceful.
Before I go, I want everyone to know that Austin doesn't complain. He just wants to not be coughing and have the sore throat that comes along with that issue. And I'm the one who is trying to get these assessments and testing done so we can hopefully get some sort of therapy to help him find some confidence and help him cope with any results he gets. Writing and helping others is my therapy as I go through the processes. : ) And we truly hope you are finding these posts to be helpful.
With that, I will leave you with this verse from Romans 8:28:
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those
who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
My destination is no longer a place, but rather a new way of seeing.
This quote by Marcel Proust can lead all of us in a totally different direction in life if we let it. Austin is 28 years old and having a difficult time deciding which direction to take in life. So, he is now in the process of discovering how magnificent and awesome he really is. How? He is seeing his physician regularly. He is going to take speech and occupational therapy and will have behavioral counseling. He is going to have genetic testing done to find out what may be causing him to be slow to learn. Because his sight isn't the only thing that's obstructing his view of who he can be once he overcomes his fears of making mistakes, of not always making right choices, of not having the knowledge to do regular work, of not being able to learn quickly enough.
We all make mistakes and make wrong choices, but Austin thinks this isn't an option. In reality, though, it's part of daily life, and it's how we learn and grow. And none of us go into any new job knowing how to do everything. But we can take the first step, which is show up and the next step, which is to be open to learning and not thinking we have to know everything about the job, and then being repetitive until we remember the steps to complete the job. And before we know it, we may be teaching people a few things because of the mistakes we make along the way or our desire to improve anything about the job. Sometimes, a mistake may be the shorter route to completing the task that nobody had thought of before. I call this a "happy accident".
Austin's current physician is opening my eyes to the possibilities that his pediatrician declined to help me with when he was a child. Even the assistant at his current lawyer's office (who is helping him file for disability) thought this was going to be a waste of time. I hope the state will eventually see Austin's struggles as something they are willing to help him with. But my other goal is for Austin to see his possibilities and to have ambitions and to motivate others as he works through some of his struggles.
He has so many things to offer others such as his ability to brighten anyone's day who sees him when we're out and about. People who don't know Austin adore him. They are instantly drawn to his genuine charm and kindness. He has a warm smile. He offers only kind words. He doesn't judge anyone. He is extremely quiet but will speak when spoken to. I truly love when he is willing to start a conversation with me. But usually I have to prompt him with a question.
So, the end result is that Austin may not be able to learn more quickly, but he will be comfortable with that. He may still be slow in speech, but he may be more confident to speak more clearly and in a tone that people will be able to hear him. He may be able to balance himself better when standing or sitting. I don't know if he'll ever be able to drive or be able to work 40 hours a week. But I hope he will be able to work some during the week and make new friends. And learn more about himself than ever before.
Our prayer for you is that you find this kind of peace in your life as well. Because everyone is struggling with something.
